What a great day!

The last few days have been nothing but God's goodness to me! I know you are probably wondering what has happened that has been so good but I don't have any one particular thing or a sweet story to share. I just finally feel like our family has some solid ground to stand on and that we are finally conforming to a family of 5. The last 10 almost 11 weeks have been nothing short of choas and disorder and if I am really honest with you (and myself)I have to say I do not work well with choas and disorder. We love our sweet little Titus but the beginning of his days were not so sweet. Not only does just adding a third child complicate things by itself but a very fussy, very cholic baby takes it to a whole new level. He ate every 2-2 1/2 hrs around the clock and cried inconsolibly every night and most mornings for about 2-3hrs. I was exhausted and weary. But in all of this I could not love him any more than I do today, now is that not God's doing or what? Ricky said the other day that we just have this bond (Tius and I) and I really do feel like we have from day one. Maybe because he hasn't left my side since he was put in my arms. He loves me and I can tell that he does when he looks at me and stares straight into my eyes. He will be 11 weeks old on Tuesday and I feel like I am just introducing you to him. He was born Sept 29 at 2:19pm and was 7 lbs. 15 oz and 19 1/2 inches long. Our shortest out of the three (that has Ricky just a tad worried :). At 6 weeks old we began to supplement breast milk and formula and no kidding yall, the very next day we saw improvment in his crying fits. Within a week it was night and day difference. I just think the poor little guy was hungry, even though I nursed him about every 2 - 2 1/2 hours I just don't think I was enough. Eventually I quit nursing and he is now totally on formula and a very happy very sweet loveable little man who warms my heart with his cooing and smiles. He is sleeping about 8 hrs at a time at night, thank the good Lord! The girls just love him and even though I have the most Titus time and Ricky takes on the girls most of the time, he loves his little "T-man" bunches! Today Ricky was changing Titus' diaper on the floor and Titus was not happy about it so I watched as Leigh and Avery gathered around him and Leigh said,"what's a matter Titus" and then Avery said, "what a maner Titus?" So sweet! Avery also likes to give him is pacifier but in the process almost shoves the whole thing in his mouth so we have to watch her a bit. Things are still rocky and every day brings on more challenges but God has been good to us! I prayed a few days ago as I was sitting one late night in the recliner feeding him, all was quiet and I just prayed that God would help me to be happy and content right where I was and to enjoy these days even in the hard moments. I was feeling so frustrated with just about everything. I prayed he would help my stressful and uptight ugly heart to love this calling in my life. This has been probably the hardest time in my life, totally sacrificing myself and my agenda, (and a clean house now lets just be honest!)I prayed that instead of resenting the fact that it is not about me at all right now I would embrace it and love this time in my life. The next two days we did not get out of our pajamas, I got lots of overdue piles picked up, Titus and Avery napped very well, I felt rested, our neighbor picked up Leigh from school to play for the day, and I cooked dinner the last 2 nights. God was good to us in the very simpliest ways! It is still down right hard managing 3 little ones and I'm not about to say we have a handle on it, but God has given me grace the last two days to keep on going! What a great God we serve, I just wish I was a better servant but isn't that why WE HAVE THE CROSS! God Bless you this Sunday and hopefully I can blog more!